I used to have a blog called Poppielolly, but I lost interest and ended up deleting it... Looking back, I now realize that was trying too hard to be different and unique and perhaps to get heaps of readers and become "an Internet sensation!". It just wasn't fun anymore to have such high expectations and to never have them reached, so I stopped making posts. And I found that I was embarrassed about my blog; I was afraid that my friends would find it and be like "wtf is this?". My own shame, indeed, caused me to delete Poppielolly.
It seems that I've gained interest again. In blogging. I don't feel like I need internet stardom anymore. I feel like I just need to have a space for what I like, what I do, what I feel. I hope I'll get some feedback, but now that doesn't seem too crucial.
I think one big reason for a spark of blogging interest is that I have way excessive feelings and realizations and ideas and thoughts that seem important and relevant to me and that I need to document, FOR ME. I am 15, a sophomore in high school. I hate class presentations, I do all my homework and I try to get straight A's. I want a boy to fall in love with me. I have trouble stating my feelings to people so I like to write them letters, and I'm almost constantly afraid that nobody likes me. It's not that I've grown, I'm growing and learning important stuff like What Not To Say To Your Friend After She's Just Broken Up With Her Boyfriend, and How To Apologize For Accidentally Telling Your Best Friend's Secret To A Random Stranger, and Why You Should Always Clean Your Room. It's the process that's important, right?
My hope for this blog: That it will be a space that holds my ideaz, my hopez, my dreamz, my realizationz, and my workz. Maybe even my stupid phasez, and my poser attemptzzzz. That, no matter what, it will always feel true to me.
There isn't going to be a certain theme to this blog. It's not going to be a STYLE BLOG, an ART BLOG, a BLOG FOR MY BABY, an I'M SO COOL LIVING IN NEW YORK BLOG (never understood those), a TECHNOLOGY BLOG, a MUSIC BLOG, a CORPORATE BLOG, or a NEWS BLOG. I am just going to call it a Beautiful Pink Frilly Layer Cake --Each Layer Being Something Random That I Come Up With. Didn't you enjoy that delicious analogy? I did.
I totally know what you mean about trying for internet stardom. I did that when I was on Wordpress. Ultimately it just really wasn't fun. I was trying way to hard.
ReplyDeleteOh, and your blog has a theme. Unfortunate, I know. XD
It's called a personal blog. I do one too.